So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
