was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
