I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize