Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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