At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
