I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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