Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
