She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize