he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My bed smells like the plague
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