I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
