it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
