Sponge bath it is.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Someone stole a lamp last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
