Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize