Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
