So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
