The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
third nipple confirmed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
