You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
