You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
