So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I cut my penus on the lid.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
