i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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