i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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