so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
