You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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