there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
