dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
