THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
