I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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