Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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