Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
