You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
