you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
