I'm sorry my penis didn't work
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
