Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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