In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
