I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
