Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
