She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
