Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
