I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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