hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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