the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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