do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
