Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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