i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
