My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
