I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
