So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
