Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
