Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
