I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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