im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize