I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
