i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
