I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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