last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
