the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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