Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize