That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
