I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
