How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
