I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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